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For fun and practice. Not investment, legal, or business advice. Full disclaimer

FreePitch Roast

Free pitch roast · no login · no AI bill

Roast your pitch.

Five judges, one verdict, one change. Paste your startup pitch and a seed VC, a skeptical customer, a CTO, your competitor, and a growth lead each score it 1 to 10 with a line you'll remember. Then you get the single change worth the most points.

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Example roast

“Uber for dog walkers, but on the blockchain.”

BURNT TO A CRISP 5/50

  • 1The Seed VC: "Uber for dog walkers" tells me what you copied, not what you do. What changes for the customer?
  • 1The Skeptical Customer: What problem does this fix for me this week? I'm not seeing it.
  • 1The CTO: Every blockchain feature here is a database row with gas fees.

See the full roast →

The judges

  • The Seed VC

    Wants: Proof, a wedge, and a reason this wins big.

  • The Skeptical Customer

    Wants: My problem, in my words, with a price.

  • The CTO

    Wants: A narrow scope and a mechanism that works.

  • Your Competitor

    Wants: Something they can't clone by Friday.

  • The Growth Lead

    Wants: A findable buyer and a real channel.

What gets you points

A specific customer. "Dental clinics in Ohio", not "businesses".

A pain with a number. "Lose $4,000 a month to no-shows."

Proof. Paying customers, pilots, pre-orders, or a waitlist count.

A channel. How the first 100 customers find you.

How it works. An app, a text, an integration. Something a user touches.

An edge and a price. Why you can't be copied, and what it costs.

What costs you: buzzwords, "Uber for X", blockchain without a reason, "for everyone", all-in-one scope, and maybes. See the full rubric.